It's CHRISTmas (Do Tha Jesus)

Vagine Rhyme Time

Vagine Rhyme Time Teaser #2

Vancouver was a fuckin' dirty place last night.
The Canucks lost the Stanley cup, then....

As far as I can tell, Hillbilly/creepy crawlers from far away lands known as "Suburbs" rode public transit deep into the heart of our city and started some crazy shit.

Thousands of "I used to be a personal trainer" (but now you're just fat!) life losers, wearing ill fitting wife beaters and thick, gold plated necklaces threw up the "Rock On" fingers while posing their illiterate asses in front of burning vehicles.

Their skanky, yellow haired, sloppy boobed girlfriends, egged on their men, holding cameras high while laughing through smokers teeth and drinking away their pregnancies.

The evil foresight these A-holes possessed to pack the ingredients for a molotove cocktail, quickly followed by THE COMPLETE LACK OF FORESIGHT to understand that, THE WHOLE WORLD IS TAKING PICTURES AND VIDEO OF YOU!! just blows my mind.

I feel dirty. I'm going to use this toothbrush to clean every inch of my existence.

You know what's awesome-sauce?

When a drunk, 24 year old, overly confident, American, "Professional Poker Player" repeatedly asks you out on a date even after you try to convince him that you are a married, celibate, lesbian on parole.

But what's even MORE awesome is when he starts getting angry due to lack of "sealin' the deal" and decides that now is the time to become an asshole (partially to protect his ego but more so because he's a HUGE asshole) so he attempts to school you on the ways of the world while asking if you understand the definition of large words like "quirky" and spilling his free beer on your "work safe" shoes.

Yup, those are the key ingredients for a rich and creamy Awesome-sauce.......and an easy way to violate ones parole with attempted murder.

quirk·y/ˈkwərkē/

Adjective: Characterized by peculiar or unexpected traits: "quirky charm".

I think I might have a solid grasp on the concept of Quirky. ;)

Today I was going to post a video of me dancin' my stupid ass around the living room, to a catchy tune, in my purple sweatpants but a quick preview of the video revealed that my already unattractive sweats had a huge hole in the ass.

So now, as a result, this is yet ANOTHER blog entry about how I need to get my shit together.

I have a "Thing." I don't want to call it a disorder but it is an ailment that affects the function of my mind.

Here's the deal; whenever I look at a couple, ANY couple, I can't help but picture what they must look like during their "Intimate Moments"

I reeeeaaalllyy wish TLC would stop playing commercials for the season premier of the fuckin' "Little Couple."

They "Aggravate" my "Disorder!"